What happens when you look for the new Chinese stealth fighter on radar?

"404: Object not found." (Not funny? Click here.)

Labels: jokes

A Buddhist pilgrim goes on a pilgrimage to a sacred mountain. Walking alone along a remote trail, suddenly he is confronted by a giant ferocious-looking tiger. Seeing there is nowhere to hide, and no trees nearby which he can climb, the fearful pilgrim drops to his knees: "Oh the merciful Bodhisattva Avalokiteśvara, save me from the jaws of that fierce beast!" As the pilgrim begins to wail and cry for deliverance, he is astonished when the tiger spoke to him in a human voice: "Fear not, pilgrim, for although I am a tiger, I am also a student of Buddha and follow faithfully his Dharma..."

Overjoyed, and wishing to ingratiate himself with the tiger, the pilgrim interrupted: "I too, am a faithful follower of Buddha. I have never departed from his teachings, and never in my entire life have I tasted flesh."

"I'm sorry, but I shall have to eat you then." The tiger replied apologetically. "You see, I keep a strictly vegetarian diet..."

Labels: jokes

A patron at a fancy restaurant asks the waiter: "Which of the entrees is vegetarian?"

"I recommend the ravioli with wild mushrooms, sir. It is tonight's special and it is excellent."
"Are you sure it is entirely vegetarian?"

"Yes sir, I am sure of it.", the waiter reassured. And so the patrons orders the ravioli. Shortly, the waiter brings the patron his meal. As he turns about to walk away, the patron calls him back: "Waiter! The raviolis are stuffed with meat!"

"Yes sir, the raviolis are stuffed with ground lamb."
"But you told me the raviolis are entirely vegetarian!"
"Yes sir... You see, lamb comes from sheep..."

Labels: jokes