Modality, n. Those aspects of a thing which relate to its mode, or manner or state of being, as distinct from its substance or identity; the non-essential aspect or attributes of a concept or entity. Also: a particular quality or attribute denoting the mode or manner of being of something. — OED

Don't ever recall hearing it used in speech, or for that matter seeing it in print outside post-Modernist cultural criticism. Then, within the past few weeks, it's all over NPR, most recently in this painful episode. Urgh, after the Thesaurus, nothing corrupts the language more than Philosophy. I hope to never hear it uttered again.

First Cheney assumes presidential powers for 3 hours, and now, "Bush Has 5 Polyps Removed in Colon Cancer Test" leads the NY Times' Washington Section. Such are the tempests which buffet the body Republic.

A Buddhist pilgrim goes on a pilgrimage to a sacred mountain. Walking alone along a remote trail, suddenly he is confronted by a giant ferocious-looking tiger. Seeing there is nowhere to hide, and no trees nearby which he can climb, the fearful pilgrim drops to his knees: "Oh the merciful Bodhisattva Avalokiteśvara, save me from the jaws of that fierce beast!" As the pilgrim begins to wail and cry for deliverance, he is astonished when the tiger spoke to him in a human voice: "Fear not, pilgrim, for although I am a tiger, I am also a student of Buddha and follow faithfully his Dharma..."

Overjoyed, and wishing to ingratiate himself with the tiger, the pilgrim interrupted: "I too, am a faithful follower of Buddha. I have never departed from his teachings, and never in my entire life have I tasted flesh."

"I'm sorry, but I shall have to eat you then." The tiger replied apologetically. "You see, I keep a strictly vegetarian diet..."

Labels: jokes

A patron at a fancy restaurant asks the waiter: "Which of the entrees is vegetarian?"

"I recommend the ravioli with wild mushrooms, sir. It is tonight's special and it is excellent."
"Are you sure it is entirely vegetarian?"

"Yes sir, I am sure of it.", the waiter reassured. And so the patrons orders the ravioli. Shortly, the waiter brings the patron his meal. As he turns about to walk away, the patron calls him back: "Waiter! The raviolis are stuffed with meat!"

"Yes sir, the raviolis are stuffed with ground lamb."
"But you told me the raviolis are entirely vegetarian!"
"Yes sir... You see, lamb comes from sheep..."

Labels: jokes